I lay down in bed, feeling whale-ish as I struggle to get settled amongst the covers.
My head hits the pillow.
I sigh, comfortably.
And my hand sneaks its way across my rotund belly,
For the little body growing there, as he settles down as well.
It’s a secret if this moment is all I get.
My fingers make a cradle from the outside.
I wish, desperately, that it were not a secret,
That there were some solace to be had,
Some bit of peace,
of mental relaxation,
of guaranteed protection from the specter of fear and death…
But this moment is beautiful.
This moment is precious.
I wish that I weren’t so greedy, always wanting more than just this:
These few gentle breaths of time where I am, where nothing now can take it away.