I am totally amazed. There have been OVER 350 views on the song I wrote for Michael.
Just let that sink in for a minute.
I, the little, unknown, locally infamous, folkie singer-songwriter who has had a pretty quiet last few years on the performance front has garnered OVER THREE-HUNDRED-AND-FIFTY VIEWS on a quick YouTube video I put together the Friday before my son’s memorial service.
I can hardly believe it.
Not hardly a day goes by where I hear people tell me how much my song or my blog posts here have touched them, or how much it’s helped show them what their friends/family have gone through after the loss of a child. I am humbled.
See, when I wrote “Hole in My Heart,” I wasn’t thinking of anything other than getting all that ugly baggage OFF my chest. I wasn’t thinking about a performance piece, I wasn’t thinking about how others might hear it. I was thinking only how I had all this really intense emotion building up and suffocating me, and how if I could put it into words and music, it would help me breathe again. I wanted to write something for my little boy who loved it when I played guitar and sang. I wanted to write a song that, if God could hear it, he would know how much I loved my boy and how hurt I was at losing him. That’s where “Hole in My Heart” came from. I wrote it for me…
…And apparently others — LOTS of others — are finding solace in it, too.
It feels really weird, sometimes, writing about such a personal topic, but it’s obviously something that is far more common than we’d like to admit, and something that is obviously far less talked about than it should be. And if my writing is helping THIS MANY people cope or understand, then I can’t not…
It would be a disservice to all those who have gone through this terrible trial, or have yet to go through it, and feel they’re alone. They’re not. You’re not.
So please, don’t be shy: if you want to share my blog posts or my video of “Hole in my Heart,” please do. Let’s talk about it. Let’s not keep this bottled up somewhere dark and deep.
Share. Talk. Heal.
You were unexpected, a blessing from above
Two lines of stunned elation, and all I felt was love
I gave to you my body, I gave to you my soul
But at the moment of truth, you left me all alone
Now there’s a hole in my heart, it’s deeper than the sea
Filled with all the wreckage of the dreams you’ll never see
And though you’re now an angel watching over me
There’s a hole in my heart
That I wish had never been
From day one you changed me and I’ll never be the same
Seeing my innocence vanish the day you came… Ohh….
And I know it wasn’t your fault
It just wasn’t meant to be