Welcome to my first Music Notes installment! If you have suggestions for this young lady, please leave them in the comments. 🙂

And, as always, if you have a question, send them on down!

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Hey Heather please help me out. My name is Aastha… I belong to a very musical family. My mother made me join a classical vocal music class when I was 7. I liked the teacher. He wasn’t bad. Now I am 13 going to be 14 this December. As I grew up I began to dislike this type of music so I gave up singing and asked my parents to let me attend a guitar class. They didnt agree and are still forcing me to attend those classes. Wherever I go I am sick of listening to people telling me to continue singing as it is in my blood and all. I am not singing since the last 3 years. My parents havent given up either. I really don’t know what to do.

Please help me. Aastha

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Dear Aastha,

I am very sorry you are going through this. Being forced to do something you don’t care for is never fun.

That said, I would encourage you to talk to your parents again about it. Try to find out why they don’t want you to play guitar. They may be keeping you in vocal music because they don’t take your interest in guitar seriously. A guitar is a big investment, whereas you already own your voice. They may not want to get you a guitar if they think your interest is only going to last a month or two (in which case, they fear having wasted time and money on a guitar that won’t get played again). The thing is, you have to find ways to show them that you’re serious about it and that guitar is something you’re passionate about. Tell them how much you really want to play. Offer to help find a reasonably priced instrument. Offer to help find someone to teach you (If you have friends who play guitar, that is an excellent resource for getting started!).

If you try all of these things and they still won’t budge, consider this: all music is related. You are learning musical skills which will help you when you do get the chance to play guitar. The concept of notes, music structure, and rhythm are universal. Everything you learn now will make you a better guitar player in the end. 🙂 Just stick with it and don’t give up. If you *really* would rather play guitar than sing classical, take heart that eventually you WILL. It might not be right away — you may have to wait until you are an adult — but if it’s something you really want to do you will find a way to do it. Opportunities have a way of showing up when they’re needed. 🙂

Thank you for writing! And best of luck!

Heather

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7 thoughts on “Music Notes: When your parents don’t let you Play

  1. Ah poor Aastha. I am not a parent, but I am a musician, even if I don’t play in a band anymore, I agree with what Heather says. You have one advantage, at least your parents are musical, so music is something they care about, perhaps, they are wanting to follow in their footsteps. Are they classical musicians? classical singers? If so, they may be thinking that you’re going to go down to the rock ‘n’ roll route, and turn into a rebellious youth or are you wanting to play classical guitar? If it’s still the classical route, then just explain how passionate you are. If it’s a more rock ‘n’ roll route, or even jazz, then choose examples of talented musicians in those fields, and talk to your parents, tell them how much music really means to you, tell them as much as you understand them wanting you to sing, that you truly feel your real talent lies in guitar playing. If they won’t budge, save up, get your own guitar, and teach yourself, many amazing musicians started that way or try a compromise, ask them to allow you a guitar for say, six months. Maybe they are looking at it, as if you were wanting a dog, and they’re worried they will spend the money on the guitar, and it will sit there unplayed, after a month.

    Do hope all these suggestion help you. Please let us know how you get on, and good luck!

  2. Heather, just noticed that your lovely background, clashes a little with the font colour of this text…you may want to change something, it’s a little bit hard to read the comments…

  3. Maria, A friend of mine writes:

    I’d suggest she ask her voice teacher for an assist. Most teachers have dealt with these parents and understand the dynamics of what is actually going on and if this young lady’s teacher really feels that she has a gift, then she will help any way she is able. And if we need to round her up a guitar and/or teacher … send me an email. I will try and help. I was one of those kids. And I’ve taught some of those kids and dealt with a wide range of these issues in my time. I believe finding out the reason for her parents’ decision is important, but I wonder if perhaps someone besides her would be better able to ascertain what that actually is. More often than not, in cases such as this, it is the word of a professional musician that will count more with some parents. It’s difficult for non musician parents to suss out what is the best thing to do. Many of them think strange things .. antiquated attitudes. Frustrating for sure .. but workable if handled just so. Need to make the parents feel they are doing the best and right thing first.

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