I play music in my free (ha!) time, as entertainment for me and also for others. There’s a jam night I go to once a month in the local brew/pub/restaurant/bookstore, and I’m getting ready to play with some buddies in the upcoming Celtic show at the end of the month.
Sadly — and understandably! — my husband, who is always extremely supportive of my hobbies, no longer feels comfortable attending my jam sessions and other musical engagements because he is constantly accosted by others wanting to know why he isn’t playing because, “well, isn’t that your wife playing over there?”
He can’t go five minutes without being harangued. To the point he can’t even enjoy the show.
We are individuals. Yes, we are married, and yes, we did decide to spend our entire lives together. But again: we are individuals. I have my hobbies, and he has his. Granted, a lot of our hobbies mesh: motorcycles, Cowboy Action, Sci-fi/Fantasy, cats, tastes in movies, etc. Granted, we are rarely seen apart outside of work, and often could be considered “joined at the hip,” but just because he loves woodworking and iron-crafting, does that mean I do too?
Just because I enjoy performing music, does that mean he does too?
I am my ownself.
And he deserves the same sort of autonomy.